The waiting game.

Why does time move so slow when you are waiting on news? It seems like it has been forever since I was at the DR.s last and I still have not received a call from him.

Our family is not complete. We want a baby so bad and we just don't understand why we can't. My heart aches for a child.

I miss our 3 children so much. Christmas morning is so sad here in this home. We sleep in late and we never exchange gifts. Christmas is for children. The thrill is seeing what Santa has left. Santa does not stop at our house. I pray next year he will be able to stop. I pray God will give us a child to love and care for. We know something is missing in our lives. It is the sounds our our babies laughing playing on Christmas morning. Seeing their eyes light up when they see Santa's footprints that have been left on the carpet by the fireplace. The half ate carrots that Rudolf only had time to eat. The frantic phone calls to the Grandparents to tell them what was left for them.

Why? Why are we left out? Why was we chosen to have our babies born in heaven? Why couldn't God let us keep one of them? Why did he take them all away?

Would we have been that bad of parents?

I guess only time will tell. Till then it is back to the waiting game.