Thursday, September 18, 2008

March 2008

I had a check-up at my family Dr. I told her I wasn't feeling well and she did blood work. She asked when my last period was and I told her I wasn't sure. I stopped writing it down. I wasn't charting anymore. Didn't care if I got it or not. Well low and behold it came back that I was Pregnant again. 4 weeks this time.

She sent me to a high risk Dr. this time and I went in for blood work every 2 days. Everything was fine except my progesterone. It was low. I started on meds. All was good. HCG was going up great. Progesterone was staying up. This time Baby was going to stick.

I went in for an ultra sound at 5 weeks. We had a sac and fetal pole. Everything was right on time. This was it. I was going to have my baby I wanted so bad.

I had more blood work for the next 2 weeks. Numbers kept going up!

During this time Daryl's Uncle who had helped raise him passed away. We didn't get to tell him he was going to be a great Uncle. Daryl was so sad. His Mom lived with her Brother and Sister and they were heart broken too. His Aunt never married and neither had his Uncle. They had lived together for over 60 years. Daryl wanted to tell his Mom and Aunt to help cheer them up.
His Mom broke down and cried and said She couldn't go thu this again. She said she knew we couldn't do it either. The last 2 almost tore us apart. We assured her all was good and we would be going in a week to see the baby and the heartbeat. She was at ease then.

We knew Uncle Clyde would watch over us and keep this baby safe.

The day of the ultra sound I was 7 almost 8 weeks along. Dr. started the ultra sound and got real quite. He kept moving the wand and kept looking at the screen. He finished up and I asked what was wrong. He told us he could not find anything. My heart dropped. I started to cry right there on the table. Not again!I told him my numbers were going up. He was wrong. He went and got another Dr. who did another scan. Nothing. Just an empty sac.

At that point in time I wanted to die. If I could have crawled in a corner I would have. They both had to be wrong. My numbers were high. I did everything I was suppose to do. Why are they lying to me?

My Baby had died again. 3 babies 3 years. This was not fair.

I went for blood work and it came back as 35 it was all over.

On April 14,2008 my baby went to heaven to be with it's siblings.

I did not tell my family this time. They still don't know.

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